NOFX

After being up for 36 hours, Korn and I drove a happy 4 hours to Omaha to go see one of my favourite bands, NOFX. I seriously don't know how we survived the trip, there actually being a 5-mile strip both Korn and I could not remember after passing into Nebraska. Anyway, we did survive, and got to see one hellluva show. Fat Mike (Who isn't fat at all) was really cool and gave us the Fat Music for Fat People CD. I'm glad I survived and can remember meeting and watching one of the most genuine and talented bands around after being up for 44 hours. (Not to mention fuckin' hilarious.) Shawn Frevele - 2/16/96

This interview was done on the rented NOFX tour bus in Omaha, NE. on 11/5/94.

LFB: What makes you guys do what you do, you know, why punk?
FAT MIKE: Well, we all started. You know...none of us knew how to play our equipment at all. Punk's like one of the only kinds of music you can do that to and after about six years, we kinda got pretty good... but we sucked for a long time.       
LFB: Have you guys been getting a lot of shit from the old punks from being on Epitaph since it's getting so much success?
FM: No, a lot of bands ARE getting shit, but we're not 'cause we're not on Mtv. We're not on commercial radio, but we do have a big bus.
LFB: That was another question. I saw the Cinema BeertŽ video tape. I had three videos of you guys on it and Bob, Stick It In My Eye, and one from a long time ago that was unnamed was in the back of the credits. First of all, I wanted to see what the name of that one is.
FM: "Shut Up Already."
LFB:"Shut Up Already?" Like My Name Is Mrs. Jones. What year did you do that?
FM: '88
LFB:That was with Fat Wreck Chords, or was that before that?
FM: Way before that. That was the Little (wheat) Nation album. Which we only made 2,000 copies of and we sold them from town to town.
LFB:Will you, or have you, done a vid for Punk In Drublic yet?
FM: We did one for Leave It alone so we're not saying anything. We put out an hour long video that's coming out this week.
LFB:Really?
FM: Footage from '85 til now.
LFB:Oh, fuckin' cool. That's sweet. Any likes or dislikes of being on the road?
FM: Well, we've only been on the road for two days now. This is our first big bus tour and we're having a great time. We have TVs. Each bunk has a TV so yu put a porno in the back and...(makes masturbation gestures while whistling a happy tune).
LFB:There you go.
FM: It's very nice.
LFB:Where did the name NOFX come from?
FM: I hate that name.
LFB:You do?
FM: It came from nowhere.
LFB:I figured that that would be the generic question of the night.
FM: I won't answer that. (Generic roadie enters, leans into the camera, and says, "hi").
LFB:Has any one in the band ever done it with a porn star?
Roadie: We're in a porno movie. The music.
FM: I've never made it with a porn star.
LFB:I was told to ask that question.
Roadie: NOFX's music is in a porno movie. (Exits with a bottle of Flexall 454) FM: No, but Tori Welles kissed my wife once.
LFB:oooh. You guys have six or seven LPs out?
FM: I don't know.
LFB:(Chuckling) Okay... which did you like doing most?
FM: (While chewing on a selection from the deli tray) I like our newest one the most. what can I say, ya' know? It's got a lot o' cool songs.
LFB:Other than, obviously Hole, right now, what do you listen to?
FM: (Digging through a case of tapes) We got Bad Religion, Good Riddance, Tilt, RKL, Paul Simon, Nirvana, that kind of shit. Basic type stuff. I don't like that break dance/rap shit, ya' know. I don't like it at all!
LFB:Thank God!! That's a first. It's really hard to find a band that's not into it for some reason. I've interviewed all these punk bands and their like, "Oh, we love rap!" WHY? I just never got into it.
FM: It's for people who don't have a very good sense of humor, 'cause they listen to it and they think it's funny. They listen to it again and they think it's funny and the third time they listen to it, it's still funny......... Twenty times, ya' know, God. I mean, how many times do you listen to a comedy album, Steve Martin. You know, it's really funny but...two or three times but...
LFB:Who is Lori Myers?
FM: No one.
LFB:Is it about anyone you know or a group of people you know?
FM: No. It's just a pro-woman, pro-pornography...
LFB:I went to school with a Lori Myers.
FM: I did too. There's a girl I went to fourth grade with. She never made porno movies as far as I know. Actually, I knew a girl in college that was friends with them. Yeah, I forgot about this. She made about fifty grand a year making movies and goin' to college. She had no problem with that.
LFB:The one I knew was a trombone player. I was just curious about that. Did Ian (MacKaye) cover Straight Edge?
FM: I've never talked to him.
LFB:Really?
FM: I've never heard.
LFB:Is that you singing vocals?
FM: It's El Hefe.
LFB:Are Liza and Louise real people?
FM: I got some warped shit in my mind.
LFB:That's a fuckin' great song!
FM: (Reaches across table and grabs a magazine) I like lesbians. I have a thing for 'em. (Holds magazine up to the camera. Reads "Bad Attitude"). That's the kind of pornography I read. See... real pornography. By and for lesbians... you know. You got pictures like this in here... you got... you know (shows picture of a girl in a tie and suspenders, basically, a father figure with a girl bent over "his" knee, dress hiked up all the way over her bare ass and instead of spanking, it looks like her hand is all the way up her butt- cufflinks are touching cheaks) and uh... let's see what else we got...women... women sucking each other. Women with handcuffs (photos of leather clad women in various sexual positions). This is all good stuff. This isn't like Hustler... see that (proves his point with more pages)? You got leather whips... see... this is the kinda stuff I read.
LFB:Cool.
(Enter: the tour manager and roadie.)
Roadie: Video interview?
FM: Yeah. Showing pictures from my lesbian magazine.
Roadie: Wow! I have that one.
FM: Have you seen this one?
Roadie: Yeah.
FM: Fuck that Hustler/Penthouse shit you know.
LFB:A friend off mine would live off of nothing but Puritan. Real hard core seventeen dollar stuff. (GREGGIE!!!)-ed.
FM: What's Puritan?
LFB:Puritan magazine? (To make it short, a whole lotta fuckin'.)
FM: Yeah well, I hate seein' dicks in porno movies... You know. I like seein' women in porno movies. Women are sexy. I don't like seein' guys.
Roadie: When you see a dick it makes it kinda hard to jack off.
FM: I don't like seein' dick in a porno and I hate cum shots. I HATE cum shots!
Roadie: Cool. Oh, me too. I'm with you there, boss.
FM: Gross.
LFB:A friend of mine has Buttslammers 4, or something like that.
Roadie: Yuk! Buttslammers? That's disgusting.
LFB:No, no. It's all women.
FM: See. I still don't like movies like that 'cause I don't believe it. I think all those people are actresses and they're all getting paid for it, you know? Which they are and stuff like this is, you know, made by lesbians for lesbians. Real pictures. People who wanted their pictures taken, you know.
(Tour manager bumps camera.)
FM: Watch out for that camera you jerk!!
TM: Fuck you. What's this, a fuckin' TV studio?
FM: Now they're filming the fuckin' curtain.
TM: Good. (Roadie enters camera shot looking for food.)
FM: Whimmo! Look everyone. It's Whimmo the wigga.
TM: Whimmo and I wanna be a wigga. Ole Whimmo don't got nothing to do tonight. (At this time, the tour manager and the roadie start some psycho- babble about how one of them had totally rewired the soundboard and the other one started pouting to the other one 'so he's being a baby?' totally oblivious to the fact that there was an interview going on - all this while making sandwiches from the deli tray.)
LFB:What pisses you guys off? Do you write things that piss you off?
FM: What I hate mostly is stupid people. I have no patience at all for stupid people. That's why Whimmo and I get along so well (sarcastic smile)This also pisses me off about people: people who think drugs should be illegal. All those people.
LFB:What makes your day?
FM: What makes my day? Last night was a pretty good day. I got real drunk in Denver, took some pain killers, played a great show, made some friends, and had a good nights sleep. Oh yeah, we give away five hundred CDs a night. Would yu like some.
LFB:Sure!
FM: Would you rather have CD or cassette?
LFB:I don't care.
FM: (Says to Korn) What about you?
KORN: Either way.
FM: There's two CDs. See, we made 20,000 CDs on this tour. We're giving away 500 a night.
LFB:Why do they call you Fat Mike?
FM: Well, I used to weigh 130 pounds, I went to college one year and gained thirty five pounds, so the next year we went on tour. Every town we went to someone would say you put on some, you gained some weight. Almost every day.
LFB:Do you give a shit about anything that goes on with this OJ shit?
FM: Totally not. I mean, who even fucking cares? He's guilty. I mean, there's so many better things to hear about than that shit.

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